On Today's Very Special Xelloss Teaches Etiquette:

Handsome devils such as myself can't go a few millennia without getting a date or two once in a while.  Dating, like any other sort of social interaction, has conventions of etiquette.  Nothing would disappoint my great master more than having a boorish, unrefined escort as a minion.  

First of all, you will probably have to attract a potential date.  I find that vanquishing a young lady's foes in a spectacular manner usually does the trick.  Don't hold back!  Women are attracted to masculinity, and nothing will get you out of the game faster than acting like a pansy and showing mercy on your victims opponents.  

Properly introduce yourself to your lady.  She will no doubt be taken in by your charm and wit, and duping inviting her to a date should pose no problem.  Now comes the hard part: planning the date.  Take her to a place she will enjoy.  As with gift giving, the general rule of thumb is to choose something you would like: chances are she will as well.

Once you have decided upon the time and location of your date, it's time to get ready!  Remember to dress nicely (see the graphic at the top of this page for an example).  You'll probably go out to dinner first--remember to mind your manners.  Keep table conversation light and non-serious.  Topics such as world destruction, evil plots, or locations of tomes filled with ancient lore are strictly taboo.  If you find that your date strays toward such subjects, distract her.  Perhaps you should compliment her on her strong points (example: "My Lina, you're particularly destructive today...").  

Speaking of distractions, let us talk about the kiss.  When is it appropriate to kiss?  How should you go about it?  Of course the answer is to land it on her when she least expects it!  After all, what could be more romantic than spontaneity?  It's little things like these that get you to third base appreciated.  You know that you have succeeded when she blushes and begins to stammer--ah! l'amour.  With that in mind, please know that even demon lords believe in safe sex.  Use protection--I find that carrying a mighty large staff helps against attackers.

In addition, please consider these useful tips:

• Should you have a mass of writhing demonic tentacles, keep them to yourself when you're in public. 

• Wait until she's asleep before leaving.  

• For hell's sake, be discreet when copping a feel.

 --Xelloss

The Beastmaster has been serving Ryuzoku-Mazoku diplomatic relations for over 1000 years.

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More Etiquette:
Introductions
Dining

This edition by Hyacynth